After everything quieted down this weekend, SuperSport.com asked its readers to share their football jokes on Facebook. These were some of the funniest and corniest replies:
Thabang Hloele
Son: Daddy, Barca crushed Manchester United again like always.
Daddy: It wasn't Barca it was Basle. They just wore Barca jerseys to scare Manchester United.
Son: Daddy, Barca crushed Manchester United again like always.
Daddy: It wasn't Barca it was Basle. They just wore Barca jerseys to scare Manchester United.
Mpumezo B-Mayne Bonga
Messi brought a woman home. When they got to the house the girl went to the bathroom. When she came out of the bathroom she found Messi waiting in bed with two men. She asked what was going on and Messi replied, "I can't perform without Xavi and Iniesta.”
Messi brought a woman home. When they got to the house the girl went to the bathroom. When she came out of the bathroom she found Messi waiting in bed with two men. She asked what was going on and Messi replied, "I can't perform without Xavi and Iniesta.”
Mohammed 'ël Ñîñø' Suhail
Worried about her son, Fernandio Torres' mom takes him to a specialist career adviser. All goes well until the adviser asks him, "What are your goals son?"
Worried about her son, Fernandio Torres' mom takes him to a specialist career adviser. All goes well until the adviser asks him, "What are your goals son?"
Michael Do-it Mukupa
Cristiano Ronaldo during a TV interview: “The football god sent me to earth to show people how to play football.” When Leo Messi heard this, he looked puzzled, stared at the ground and said, “That’s odd, I don’t remember having sent anybody to earth.”
Cristiano Ronaldo during a TV interview: “The football god sent me to earth to show people how to play football.” When Leo Messi heard this, he looked puzzled, stared at the ground and said, “That’s odd, I don’t remember having sent anybody to earth.”
Okpanachi Vyqta Unekwu
A pastor says, “Our bible reading today is taken from the book of Manchester, chapter 6 verse 1. It reads, ‘Man U wept’.”
A pastor says, “Our bible reading today is taken from the book of Manchester, chapter 6 verse 1. It reads, ‘Man U wept’.”
Lee 'Ma
Just bought a DVD on Carlos Tevez…it doesn’t want to play.
Just bought a DVD on Carlos Tevez…it doesn’t want to play.
Paul Kenny Makabe
CR7- I’m not afraid.
MESSI- I love the way you lie.
CR7- I’m not afraid.
MESSI- I love the way you lie.
Olorato Egomaniac
Hey Chelsea CECH the scoreline! What’s da MATA? You look TERRYFIVED.
Hey Chelsea CECH the scoreline! What’s da MATA? You look TERRYFIVED.
Vusumuzi Vajjie Jubase
If the Barclays Premier League was a classroom: Arsenal would be the kid who works hard all year but fails. Chelsea would be the boy who fails, blames his teachers and his parents get him a new teacher every year. Man City would be the spoilt brat of the class who gets what he wants. Man United would be the kid who does well in his final exams and Liverpool would be the child who is very proud of his grandfather’s achievements.
If the Barclays Premier League was a classroom: Arsenal would be the kid who works hard all year but fails. Chelsea would be the boy who fails, blames his teachers and his parents get him a new teacher every year. Man City would be the spoilt brat of the class who gets what he wants. Man United would be the kid who does well in his final exams and Liverpool would be the child who is very proud of his grandfather’s achievements.
Ramantswana Mashudu
I recently went to my 6-year-old niece's primary school to collect her report. When I met the teacher she told me that one day my niece was busy saying the names of four animals on the board for the whole class. "This is a Lion. This is an Elephant. This is a Giraffe," she said to the class. Then, when she came to the fourth animal (a zebra), she said, "This is a Kaizer Chiefs.”
I recently went to my 6-year-old niece's primary school to collect her report. When I met the teacher she told me that one day my niece was busy saying the names of four animals on the board for the whole class. "This is a Lion. This is an Elephant. This is a Giraffe," she said to the class. Then, when she came to the fourth animal (a zebra), she said, "This is a Kaizer Chiefs.”
Yusuf 'Armada' Sibda
What do Liverpool and a three-pin plug have in common. They are both useless in Europe.
What do Liverpool and a three-pin plug have in common. They are both useless in Europe.
Risto Tha Don Mukandi
During the Champions League final:
Fergie (to 4th official): Can you please put a ball on the field.
4th official: But there is a ball already on the field.
Fergie: Barca are using that one.
During the Champions League final:
Fergie (to 4th official): Can you please put a ball on the field.
4th official: But there is a ball already on the field.
Fergie: Barca are using that one.
Phiri Malapane
Interviewer: Peter Ndlovu those were three beautiful babies you put away behind the net. How do you feel?
Peter: Aah I am so ashamed, I just don't like it when these women tell the whole world.
Interviewer: Peter Ndlovu those were three beautiful babies you put away behind the net. How do you feel?
Peter: Aah I am so ashamed, I just don't like it when these women tell the whole world.
Oteng Carlos Robert
Son: Dad I think the girl I’m dating is too old for me.
Dad: What makes you think so?
Son: Well, to start with, she said she's seen Liverpool win the league.
Son: Dad I think the girl I’m dating is too old for me.
Dad: What makes you think so?
Son: Well, to start with, she said she's seen Liverpool win the league.
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